A free Chrome extension that auto-archives applicant follow-ups, drafts the rejection you were never going to send, and replaces every “just circling back!” with the soothing silence of corporate inevitability.
Free forever. No card required. No conscience required.
Recruiting is hard enough without 47 “just circling back!” emails clogging your pipeline. Every applicant thinks they’re the one. Every applicant attaches a six-page cover letter. Every applicant has a follow-up question about culture fit.
Squish lightens the load by quietly archiving the noise so you can return to your real job: explaining to your CEO why the pipeline is empty.
No emotional labor. No difficult conversations. No need to actually read what they wrote.
Scans for keywords like “just checking in,” “wanted to circle back,” and “hope this finds you well” at 99.4% accuracy.
“Following up on my application” becomes “Auto-archived 7 days ago.” Closure for everyone, technically.
Fire off “we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates” in 14 languages without breaking flow state.
Squish never asks if you’re sure. It never asks why. It never asks anything. Like the best HR software.
You don’t even have to look. Set it once and let the silent treatment scale infinitely.
Workday, Greenhouse, Lever, Ashby, your therapist’s calendar. Wherever you outsource feelings, we’re there.
Squish reads every applicant’s LinkedIn, calculates their Desperation Index™ against industry benchmarks, and stores it in a shared recruiter database forever. Their personal information is indexed, scored, and cross-referenced across our partner network.
Compliant with vibes. Audited by us. GDPR? Sure.
Contribute anonymously to the global tally. It’s a satisfying reminder that “we’ll keep your resume on file” is the most powerful lie in the English language — and you’re not the only one telling it.
Squish saved me from having to feel anything during a 400-applicant requisition. I haven’t opened my inbox in three weeks. I’ve never been more aligned.
We posted a fake req on a Tuesday and had 2,000 leads in our ATS by Friday. The Pretend Hiring feature is the best growth marketing tool we’ve ever bought.
Lemonie called us “the villains.” We took it as a compliment and added it to the homepage. Honestly, it’s our best-converting badge.
Built with indifference. Powered by HRIS. Backed by the unflinching truth that hiring was never really about the candidate.
“Cheers,”
Squish — we won’t be reaching back out about this CTA.